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“Enough with the pregnancy questions, please.”

October 26, 2016

This may come off as a personal PSA letter, but really more like me venting.

Reaching my 30’s has been an amazing blessing and nothing shy of anything less. BUT, since reaching this age-milestone I’ve been tormented and interrogated frequently with the question, “when are you going to have a baby?”

As my identical twin sister is slowly approaching mothering her 3rd child, the questions regarding my fertility begins to heighten. I have lost count of how many times per day my husband and I are interrogated about having children. I’ve even lost desire to attend dinner dates or large groups in simple avoidance of this question that by some means has become bothersome to us. I mean, we are just uncomfortable being placed in an awkward position to feel pressured to answer a question we really would like to remain private.

We really…really enjoy each other and the way things are. We can assume it may sound selfish for certain people, but 3yrs into a marriage is still very gentle, and the enjoyment of just-the-two-of us is pretty darn awesome.

But my effort here is more-so to challenge women on why we rush, demand, or expect each other to jump into one milestone to the next, as if there is a standard manual to marriage and post-marriage. We obviously carry unmet goals and dreams that have yet to be fulfilled, but why don’t we question one another of these aspirations? Why do we demand each other to suit-up (woman-up) for the roles and the expectancy that society, tradition, and culture has deemed so-called righteous, dignified, or by–the-book?

Since I’ve been married I have yet to meet any woman who is married with/o children ask me “how are you?” These 3 words mean the world. These three words override … “When you’re going to have a baby, or when you’re going to get married?” Why doesn’t checking with one another take precedence anymore?

In this life many of us will birth many things. Some will birth physically (children) others will birth their life-time goals that are either educational, career oriented, or entrepreneurial. Why aren’t these “births” questioned or prioritized in the center of conversation amongst women?

These “births” are personal and each has its value and priority for each woman. These “births” require support like anything else, right? We shouldn’t measure or value one’s sense of worth over the other, right? Supporting women in areas that are male dominated, challenging, or screams advancement is necessary during these times as we begin to surface our 30’s. We know those women who feel highly accomplished with bringing life into this world, but let’s also have some reverence for those who’ve achieved significant goals in their lives aside from bringing forth life.

On a serious note, we don’t have a clue who’s battling infertility issues, marital discord, or overcoming miscarriages along with significant unforeseen health concerns. So why do you think someone will volunteer sharing such an intimate part of their lives to you? Ladies, let’s not be so callous and/or inconsiderate with the “baby” question.  I don’t understand why women today are not cognizant enough to withhold the urge to ask another woman of their baby plans.  One day you may ask a woman who has been tirelessly struggling with this area in her life, and your question may be the trigger and tipping point of her anguish to conceiving.

Recently I’ve been overstretched to answer my baby plans, to the point I’ve felt offended. I never knew that I would be so emotional about this. I examined deeper as to why certain individuals are more inquisitive or just plain NOSY with this life changing decision.  While this particular person persisted with the baby questions I repeatedly responded, “It’s all in God’s timing,” but in turn she continued and decided to “speak” over my life in terms of conceiving; but I never gave her the permission to do so. She has never spoken anything over my life nor supported any of my other milestones whatsoever, but insisted in inviting herself in this facet of my life. I’m unfamiliar with the root of her intentions or anyone’s true intentions as to why they want me to become with-child so desperately. I mean these people never wished anything else for my life. It’s a curiosity that screams spite; but I can’t really frame into words what it feels like, but it feels far from sincere at this point. In closure, this is not a jab at any loved ones or friends, but an extended written request to reduce the stress caused by the endless questioning.

Now to help my girls attack the next most visited question- “When are you going to get married?”

Change, Transformation, Awareness, Cultura Latina, Exist Spiritually, New Post!, Organic Message

Connection through the feminine: “The Power of La Luna”

September 1, 2016
Written by, Dieniz Costa

For nine months now, I have been gathering with my hermanas every new moon and full moon to honor and rejoice in the energy of la luna. You may be saying to yourself: “wait, what? Latinas and the moon?” Yes, I have come to deeply understand that we are all connected- not just we humans, but everything- the stars, the planets, the very soil that we stand on are connected to everything. One of my favorite quotes is “as above, so below.” These four simple words carry such deep wisdom and truth.

Have you been feeling tired and confused this week? You may feel it’s because of the busy weekend you had or your workload or a lack of sleep… that may be so AND it has to to do with the planets and that which is beyond the physical 3rd dimension. On August 30th, we entered into Mercury in retrograde. On September 1st we will be experiencing a new moon and a solar eclipse.

This next month is calling us to step up into that TRUTH, into our POWER. As Latinas, we are faced with the challenges of our culture, our programming, the inequalities of “la cultura americana” and yet we can move gracefully and powerfully through it all. We are in this world, not of it. This is why spiritual practice is a strong foundation in our lives;  it’s vital to our existence and evolution. In my experience, many Latinas are born leaders, paving the way for us all. Our spirituality gives us the strength needed in every moment. Connecting to the moon is a practice that truly gives to you-feeds you energy to continue serving the collective.
You may have heard about Mercury in retrograde- people often blame it for technology issues, bad karma, etc. Here is the truth- no energy is positive or negative. We are co-creators, period. We can take any energy, low vibrating or high vibrating and alchemize it to work with us, for us. This is exactly why I am writing this article: to help as many Latinas cultivate and harness the powers at large for their greatest good. We can sit around and blame this or that for holding back from playing life full out OR we can take what is and make miracles from it. 
This new moon and mercury retrograde brings about growth, an expansion in our collective consciousness and a rise in individual power. We will see a new wave of archetypes rising and claiming their place in our consciousness. We will hear the call to rise and be of service. Each and every one of us is a fragment of a hologram and a prototype at the same time. We each have a unique purpose and we are all a derivative of the whole- perfection in both the abstract and concrete, the spiritual and physical, the divine and human. 
Being in connection with the moon cycle has brought many gifts to my life.  I have been communing with my soul sisters every month in a sacred circle where we can stand for one another, side by side and powerfully declare our intentions, support each other in releasing the old limiting beliefs and habits and co-create a vision for what sisterhood looks like for each one of us moving forward.  Each month, every ceremony looks and feels differently and it is always perfect and divinely guided.  I have been able to feel the impact of having my own menstrual cycle in alignment with that of the moon, an intention I set back in April and have now successfully achieved.  It doesn’t feel as if I am fighting the natural forces during my cycle, rather, I receive an extra boost of love and light when it arrives and departs, just as I do with each time I commune with mama luna. All of the support I feel from sisterhood and la luna allow me to be of greater service in this world.  I invite you to ponder on your practices and to commit for a month of communing with the moon.  Below are a few options to commit to and begin your practice. 

A few exercises you can do to connect with the moon include: 
1. Moon bathing- sitting under the sky focused on the moon energy (it doesn’t matter if you can see the moon.)
2. Release the old and set intentions for the new (writing or speaking it to others)
3. Share the moon energy with others, i.e. Do a circle of friends, repost this blog, send out positive vibes to the collective.
Your practice is yours, make it what you desire it to be.  Please visit:  www.sexualitypower.com
 
In sisterhood,
 Dieniz Costa
Exist Spiritually, New Post!, Spiritual "Blessantries"

If I Had The Power To HEAL…

March 16, 2016

Recently,  I was asked “If I had a super-power what would it be?” Immediately my heart began to race as if that super power would truly be granted. I mumbled several things and finally said, “To  HEAL!” I wish I had the power to heal every physical ailment, emotional and/or mental disorder. Three weeks later, I find myself still mentally processing the icebreaker activity and wondered, what if I can really possess the power to heal? Have I healed anyone before, unintentionally?

The act of healing in itself has transcended into various forms across religions and their respective  remedial purposes.  I personally wouldn’t consider myself a “healer.”  To be frank and honest I truly believe the miracles from being healed is a respected area for the head of the church and/or those persons who’ve attained appropriate credentials in the concentration of healing, however, after reading  “Draw the Circle, The 40-Day Prayer Challenge”, by Mark Batterson, I’m slightly convinced I have the ability to heal… slightly. Batterson challenges it’s readers to seek prayer not only as the gateway to commune with God, but also to heighten a sixth sense. This action will in return help plant your dreams, blanket you with peace, grant you discernment, and lastly, help you take a deeper dive to understanding God’s agenda. He ultimately wants for us to be  healed, restored,renewed, and to be forgiven! I’m sure throughout our lives we’ve heard many versions of what God intended our purpose  to be, but as for me, Healing as my purpose  came to me as a revelation: through the ministry of counseling/therapy, support groups, and small-talks with families, married couples, and teens.

Keep in mind, like many prayers and dreams, God doesn’t answer them all at the times and format most desirable and convenient to us. Batterson states,

“I wonder how many of our prayer requests are within our own power to answer. Yet we ask God to do what we can do ourselves. And then we wonder why God doesn’t respond. Maybe it’s because God won’t do for us what we can do for ourselves. God isn’t honored by prayers that are within the realm of human possibility; God is honored when we ask Him to do what is humanly impossible. That way, God gets all the glory!”…  Reflect on that.

Occasionally, we don’t pray prayers of healing because we’re afraid they would go unanswered, are too big, unable of being resolved, or just outright ridiculous. We’re  defeated before the request is denied, already in progress, or advised that right now is not the moment for God to show his Glory.  In addition, we’re left contemplating in our own confusion and questioning our faith, which is deeply vested into a source we live and die for, but yet, with belief, it has left us broken with unanswered prayers. Batterson speaks on this emotion and encourages persistence to keep asking, keep praying, keep seeking; I know it sounds cliché, but it’s all about God’s perfect timing that will calm your anxieties with HIS perfect peace.

We all  have responsibilities within our prayers to bridge a stronger relationship with God.  We are ordered through faith to release burdens and prayer requests to Him. With the act of Faith, one will begin to feel a sense of healing and anxieties being lifted off your shoulders. You’ve then, learned to exchange that worrisome-spirit for prayer.

Today, I believe that If you’re a praying person you’re a healing person. You’re eager to encounter God repeatedly and intimately in purpose to thank Him, restore others and yourself. Obviously, the “healing” power won’t transform you into a doctor, psychiatrist, financial adviser, and/or that recently hired attorney, to name a few. However, the most beautiful healing orchestrate grace,  peace, sanity in a chaotic world, and the understanding that you can always go to God to observe this intimate time of communication to address your needs and the needs of others.

If you’re able to understand this and offer yourself as vessel to bring peace, grace, sanity, and help your brothers and sisters understand the beauty  in going to God in prayer,  then my friend, you’ve just brought Healing to the broken.

Change, Transformation, Awareness, New Post!

New Year, Next Chapter… Is it Necessary?

January 7, 2016

Ahhhh… New Year, next chapter…No pressure right? Let’s see, well, the next chapter does require a new sense of preparedness; somewhat like a blank canvas. The question is, should we consider a “next chapter” because we’re in a New Year? Shouldn’t we feel somewhat content and present with where we are? Or should we immediately associate the New Year with establishing a new expectancy of ourselves? To be clear, there’s absolutely nothing wrong about recharging, beginning a new phase with the goings of the new year, but as millennials, and ever evolving individuals, lets shift a bit of our energies into celebrating our “nows.” Celebrating where we are and appreciating how far we’ve come. As the saying goes, “I’ve prayed for this moment in my life,” and for that we celebrate those current victories, and usher challenges for more victories. For that we embrace the present. For that we become more mindful, and less anxious for the next bite of success. Success, and the chase of it is quite relative and subjective. We all have our own ideals, perspectives, and theories of how we should exist successfully. For some we strive so tirelessly for success due to the fear of failure, and the repeated mistakes we watched our family, friends, and even ourselves inflict. For some we seek to retain our reputation. I’ve once read, “ Your reputation is not located in you. It resides in the minds of others,”-Wayne Dyer. Obviously, we don’t control our reputation, others do. Regardless of what good or bad deed we construct; so might as well live your way.We stretch ourselves thin, stacking more goals, tasks, and resolutions to only find ourselves doing the same act over and over again, each year. Growth, must certainly persist, it’s simply non-negotiable. This is all part of change. Change big or small is change. Change has no measurement to success, in which we all presumably try to achieve each New Year. Lets release ourselves from the pressures of “New Year, New Me,” and really approach this belief to become spiritually responsible, and create a lifestyle that allows us to reach our goals while we free space to consecrate our mind and spirit to be at PEACE. I mean, isn’t that the end goal?…to find peace. Disappointment, change, and challenges will meet you this year and EVERY year. Lets assure that our “New Year’s” agenda is God’s agenda, if not, please proceed 2016 with caution.  

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Holiday Blues, Family Feuds…

December 20, 2015

This time of year brings an onset of many mixed emotions; varying from finances, evaluation of the year’s accomplishments, and of course the family dynamic. This season calls us to attend family gatherings and fellowship over food and laughter, but for some, the sentiments are exactly the opposite.

It can be somewhat unclear what defining moment or act(s) that trigger the agonizing sense to hang around family. However, a jab at figuring it out at that the family reunion isn’t the best tactic.

Who’s to blame for not maintaining healthy traditions and frequent communication to keep families glued together? These unstable mechanics and lack thereof represent a multitude of what we can safely term, dysfunctional families gathering together.   The intent is plausible but the behaviors that in sue when there’s instability are what drives people apart.   Many normalize these occurrences and in fact make joke about the “tensions” or  “what’s going to go down at the Thanksgiving table,” where we should instead, take keen notes  and devise a plan to divert what  could lead to generational and mental misfortunes down the line.

To add, as an alternative, some members choose to avoid the act of congregating with all family to avoid any confrontations that can potentially disrupt their inner peace.  This can prove to be conducive but for how long are we able to negate our blood and live as if they don’t exist. Our consciousness can only bear it for so long. Working towards a common ground and agreeing to disagree is a lot easier on the mind, body, and soul.

This environment can be created and broken at a young tender age; when the mind is vulnerable and open to options and unbiased reasoning. Guiding your child(dren) in the best direction possible is a responsibility that not only do parents lift the heavy burden of, but it is vital for the purification and peace for the generation to come. Parents must resolve to filter if not refrain all together from positioning negative energy and opinions of family members and people in general.

Please be mindful, that self-expression and healthy and acceptable confrontation is necessary to deal with any fringes or disagreements we have amongst each other.  We want to be examples of and exhibit healthy discussion and problem resolution without violence.

Many of us from time to time have been shunned  by family  because of the life we chose to live, the paths we made for ourselves, the religion we’ve learned to love, the new spouse we deeply admire, etc. and because we don’t mirror our family tree we are forgotten or to be forgotten.  This isn’t natural this isn’t normal, but it is normal that it does happen in most families.  Our heavenly father created us equal not duplicates. We are all his precious children and in Him we are loved no matter what.  Of course absolving from activities that hurt oneself or another is a practical concern, but otherwise we are to be accepted for the uniqueness we offer to the world.   Creating an environment that encourages different skills, trades, imagination and intelligence to be celebrated is as beautiful as the many nations that exist on this planet.  Making good choices can be considered a skill. Skills develop through trial and error. Make conscious efforts to listen to wise counsel and learn to rise from the bottom. 

“Love from acceptance, don’t live for acceptance.” Rev. Dr. Otis Moss III

 

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The songstress, Ruth B, has captured our ears!

December 5, 2015

We’re slowly becoming “Ruthies”, lol, a fan base for this up-and-coming young 20 yr old soulful talented artist/songwriter, Ruth B. We encourage you to listen deeply to one empowering song “Golden,” by Ruth B. It literally gave us chills. Its very deep, organic, and will surely give you another reason to affirm why you’re beautifully golden!!

Lyrics to “Golden”

https://www.musixmatch.com/lyrics/Ruth-B-2/Golden

Her album:

https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/the-intro-ep/id1058970671

New Post!

What To Do When You’re Bored With Your Faith

December 1, 2015

RELEVANT MAGAZINE shows us few ways to refresh our faith and exercise our spirituality while remaining engaged and of course, interested in exalting something much bigger than us. As the article notates, we are humans and occasionally will get bored and disengaged with routine and search for stimulation in the simplest or for some, extreme ways. No way is wrong, but we want to encourage steadiness and consistency. Hope you enjoy your read as we did! RELEVANT Magazine is one of our favorite spiritually led literature that speaks to all generations, and all walks of life.

Many Christians continue to read a Bible every day that does nothing to their heart. They pray, and their words mean nothing. Somehow, many Christians have come to believe continuing a lifeless spiritual discipline is more important than finding new ways to experience a life-giving God
Think about it: Do you feel guilty on those days when you don’t open the Bible? I often do.

http://www.relevantmagazine.com/god/practical-faith/what-do-when-youre-bored-your-faith

YSE con Amor signature

 

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How is “Your” Beautiful Communicated?

June 29, 2015
https://youtu.be/litXW91UauE

We tend to easily, but unintentionally over-criticized every inch of our body; from our nose, hair-color, lips, ears and so many other physical features. But what happens, when you realize the very enemy exist within yourself. You are the individual creating harsh, false perceptions of yourself with words you repeat daily – its possibly normalized as part of your everyday task; while you’re getting dressed, applying makeup, or in the shower. How does that transcend?  What power and role we have given these self-destructive words over our body? What message does that speak to your world and all those you interact with? The person that needs the most improvement on communicating beautiful is you! Check out one of Dove’s most influential video of how everyday women perceive themselves, with the assistance of a forensic sketch specialist.