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“Enough with the pregnancy questions, please.”

October 26, 2016

This may come off as a personal PSA letter, but really more like me venting.

Reaching my 30’s has been an amazing blessing and nothing shy of anything less. BUT, since reaching this age-milestone I’ve been tormented and interrogated frequently with the question, “when are you going to have a baby?”

As my identical twin sister is slowly approaching mothering her 3rd child, the questions regarding my fertility begins to heighten. I have lost count of how many times per day my husband and I are interrogated about having children. I’ve even lost desire to attend dinner dates or large groups in simple avoidance of this question that by some means has become bothersome to us. I mean, we are just uncomfortable being placed in an awkward position to feel pressured to answer a question we really would like to remain private.

We really…really enjoy each other and the way things are. We can assume it may sound selfish for certain people, but 3yrs into a marriage is still very gentle, and the enjoyment of just-the-two-of us is pretty darn awesome.

But my effort here is more-so to challenge women on why we rush, demand, or expect each other to jump into one milestone to the next, as if there is a standard manual to marriage and post-marriage. We obviously carry unmet goals and dreams that have yet to be fulfilled, but why don’t we question one another of these aspirations? Why do we demand each other to suit-up (woman-up) for the roles and the expectancy that society, tradition, and culture has deemed so-called righteous, dignified, or by–the-book?

Since I’ve been married I have yet to meet any woman who is married with/o children ask me “how are you?” These 3 words mean the world. These three words override … “When you’re going to have a baby, or when you’re going to get married?” Why doesn’t checking with one another take precedence anymore?

In this life many of us will birth many things. Some will birth physically (children) others will birth their life-time goals that are either educational, career oriented, or entrepreneurial. Why aren’t these “births” questioned or prioritized in the center of conversation amongst women?

These “births” are personal and each has its value and priority for each woman. These “births” require support like anything else, right? We shouldn’t measure or value one’s sense of worth over the other, right? Supporting women in areas that are male dominated, challenging, or screams advancement is necessary during these times as we begin to surface our 30’s. We know those women who feel highly accomplished with bringing life into this world, but let’s also have some reverence for those who’ve achieved significant goals in their lives aside from bringing forth life.

On a serious note, we don’t have a clue who’s battling infertility issues, marital discord, or overcoming miscarriages along with significant unforeseen health concerns. So why do you think someone will volunteer sharing such an intimate part of their lives to you? Ladies, let’s not be so callous and/or inconsiderate with the “baby” question.  I don’t understand why women today are not cognizant enough to withhold the urge to ask another woman of their baby plans.  One day you may ask a woman who has been tirelessly struggling with this area in her life, and your question may be the trigger and tipping point of her anguish to conceiving.

Recently I’ve been overstretched to answer my baby plans, to the point I’ve felt offended. I never knew that I would be so emotional about this. I examined deeper as to why certain individuals are more inquisitive or just plain NOSY with this life changing decision.  While this particular person persisted with the baby questions I repeatedly responded, “It’s all in God’s timing,” but in turn she continued and decided to “speak” over my life in terms of conceiving; but I never gave her the permission to do so. She has never spoken anything over my life nor supported any of my other milestones whatsoever, but insisted in inviting herself in this facet of my life. I’m unfamiliar with the root of her intentions or anyone’s true intentions as to why they want me to become with-child so desperately. I mean these people never wished anything else for my life. It’s a curiosity that screams spite; but I can’t really frame into words what it feels like, but it feels far from sincere at this point. In closure, this is not a jab at any loved ones or friends, but an extended written request to reduce the stress caused by the endless questioning.

Now to help my girls attack the next most visited question- “When are you going to get married?”

Change, Transformation, Awareness, Cultura Latina, Exist Spiritually, New Post!, Organic Message

Connection through the feminine: “The Power of La Luna”

September 1, 2016
Written by, Dieniz Costa

For nine months now, I have been gathering with my hermanas every new moon and full moon to honor and rejoice in the energy of la luna. You may be saying to yourself: “wait, what? Latinas and the moon?” Yes, I have come to deeply understand that we are all connected- not just we humans, but everything- the stars, the planets, the very soil that we stand on are connected to everything. One of my favorite quotes is “as above, so below.” These four simple words carry such deep wisdom and truth.

Have you been feeling tired and confused this week? You may feel it’s because of the busy weekend you had or your workload or a lack of sleep… that may be so AND it has to to do with the planets and that which is beyond the physical 3rd dimension. On August 30th, we entered into Mercury in retrograde. On September 1st we will be experiencing a new moon and a solar eclipse.

This next month is calling us to step up into that TRUTH, into our POWER. As Latinas, we are faced with the challenges of our culture, our programming, the inequalities of “la cultura americana” and yet we can move gracefully and powerfully through it all. We are in this world, not of it. This is why spiritual practice is a strong foundation in our lives;  it’s vital to our existence and evolution. In my experience, many Latinas are born leaders, paving the way for us all. Our spirituality gives us the strength needed in every moment. Connecting to the moon is a practice that truly gives to you-feeds you energy to continue serving the collective.
You may have heard about Mercury in retrograde- people often blame it for technology issues, bad karma, etc. Here is the truth- no energy is positive or negative. We are co-creators, period. We can take any energy, low vibrating or high vibrating and alchemize it to work with us, for us. This is exactly why I am writing this article: to help as many Latinas cultivate and harness the powers at large for their greatest good. We can sit around and blame this or that for holding back from playing life full out OR we can take what is and make miracles from it. 
This new moon and mercury retrograde brings about growth, an expansion in our collective consciousness and a rise in individual power. We will see a new wave of archetypes rising and claiming their place in our consciousness. We will hear the call to rise and be of service. Each and every one of us is a fragment of a hologram and a prototype at the same time. We each have a unique purpose and we are all a derivative of the whole- perfection in both the abstract and concrete, the spiritual and physical, the divine and human. 
Being in connection with the moon cycle has brought many gifts to my life.  I have been communing with my soul sisters every month in a sacred circle where we can stand for one another, side by side and powerfully declare our intentions, support each other in releasing the old limiting beliefs and habits and co-create a vision for what sisterhood looks like for each one of us moving forward.  Each month, every ceremony looks and feels differently and it is always perfect and divinely guided.  I have been able to feel the impact of having my own menstrual cycle in alignment with that of the moon, an intention I set back in April and have now successfully achieved.  It doesn’t feel as if I am fighting the natural forces during my cycle, rather, I receive an extra boost of love and light when it arrives and departs, just as I do with each time I commune with mama luna. All of the support I feel from sisterhood and la luna allow me to be of greater service in this world.  I invite you to ponder on your practices and to commit for a month of communing with the moon.  Below are a few options to commit to and begin your practice. 

A few exercises you can do to connect with the moon include: 
1. Moon bathing- sitting under the sky focused on the moon energy (it doesn’t matter if you can see the moon.)
2. Release the old and set intentions for the new (writing or speaking it to others)
3. Share the moon energy with others, i.e. Do a circle of friends, repost this blog, send out positive vibes to the collective.
Your practice is yours, make it what you desire it to be.  Please visit:  www.sexualitypower.com
 
In sisterhood,
 Dieniz Costa
Organic Message

Holiday Blues, Family Feuds…

December 20, 2015

This time of year brings an onset of many mixed emotions; varying from finances, evaluation of the year’s accomplishments, and of course the family dynamic. This season calls us to attend family gatherings and fellowship over food and laughter, but for some, the sentiments are exactly the opposite.

It can be somewhat unclear what defining moment or act(s) that trigger the agonizing sense to hang around family. However, a jab at figuring it out at that the family reunion isn’t the best tactic.

Who’s to blame for not maintaining healthy traditions and frequent communication to keep families glued together? These unstable mechanics and lack thereof represent a multitude of what we can safely term, dysfunctional families gathering together.   The intent is plausible but the behaviors that in sue when there’s instability are what drives people apart.   Many normalize these occurrences and in fact make joke about the “tensions” or  “what’s going to go down at the Thanksgiving table,” where we should instead, take keen notes  and devise a plan to divert what  could lead to generational and mental misfortunes down the line.

To add, as an alternative, some members choose to avoid the act of congregating with all family to avoid any confrontations that can potentially disrupt their inner peace.  This can prove to be conducive but for how long are we able to negate our blood and live as if they don’t exist. Our consciousness can only bear it for so long. Working towards a common ground and agreeing to disagree is a lot easier on the mind, body, and soul.

This environment can be created and broken at a young tender age; when the mind is vulnerable and open to options and unbiased reasoning. Guiding your child(dren) in the best direction possible is a responsibility that not only do parents lift the heavy burden of, but it is vital for the purification and peace for the generation to come. Parents must resolve to filter if not refrain all together from positioning negative energy and opinions of family members and people in general.

Please be mindful, that self-expression and healthy and acceptable confrontation is necessary to deal with any fringes or disagreements we have amongst each other.  We want to be examples of and exhibit healthy discussion and problem resolution without violence.

Many of us from time to time have been shunned  by family  because of the life we chose to live, the paths we made for ourselves, the religion we’ve learned to love, the new spouse we deeply admire, etc. and because we don’t mirror our family tree we are forgotten or to be forgotten.  This isn’t natural this isn’t normal, but it is normal that it does happen in most families.  Our heavenly father created us equal not duplicates. We are all his precious children and in Him we are loved no matter what.  Of course absolving from activities that hurt oneself or another is a practical concern, but otherwise we are to be accepted for the uniqueness we offer to the world.   Creating an environment that encourages different skills, trades, imagination and intelligence to be celebrated is as beautiful as the many nations that exist on this planet.  Making good choices can be considered a skill. Skills develop through trial and error. Make conscious efforts to listen to wise counsel and learn to rise from the bottom. 

“Love from acceptance, don’t live for acceptance.” Rev. Dr. Otis Moss III

 

Organic Message

Is your Treasure where your Heart is?

October 29, 2014
YSE TREASURE BLOG POST

To begin, let’s ponder on this bible verse: “ Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be.” Luke 12:34

This verse alone, whenever recited, leaves you in wonderment and with an apparent glaring blank stare. Physically and internally everything seems to just pause, stop in time, almost like a moment of silence. It creates an unannounced questionable examination of yourself to define what the desires of your heart are.

I’ve approached completion of the book entitled The Alchemist, in which coincidentally touches on this verse several times. Without revealing this phenomenal and magical story, no spoiler alerts here, this book takes you on a pilgrimage of a young boy in search of his treasure. The journey is filled with a whirlwind of events, however, because of the young boy’s burning desire that boiled within him in hopes of locating his treasure; his heart is never to be settled or to experience a sense of peace, until this search is satisfied.

I wonder how many of us at this time live with some sort of burning desire to please our heart in search of what we define to be your “treasure”.  Do we even know what gives us any inclination that we are in search of a treasure?  The treasure may not consist of material gain, but lean more towards a personal destiny/aspiration/dream, but it must connect to something the heart longs for deeply. The heart has its method of making noise, creating uneasiness of some kind that can be unsettling, if not answered. The heart longs for the desire to be fed.  It’s a spiritual connection the heart has with your purpose. The pursuit of your treasure manifests itself with knowing what you’re purposed to do/be.

I had a recent discussion with a woman 63 years of age. She attended one of our workshops and was afflicted with the question, “What else am I left to do?”  She also went on to state, “I’m old, my children have their kids, and now I have my grand-kids, but I’m left with what? I am annoyed when persons advise me to go dancing, find a hobby, or even play bingo, I know my last days are 10-15yrs around the corner.” She vented.  While listening to her concern, I noticed that not once did she mention or identified her purpose, a treasure, or what gives her a desire to continue living. She claimed that she isn’t depressed, just suffering from severe arthritis, but regardless she never spoke of purpose until the idea was presented to her. She was in a daze, wrote down notes, then stated, “I never thought about my purpose. I lived day to day cheating myself without listening to my heart and ignoring its desires.”

It’s not selfish or egotistical to pay attention to your heart. “When each day is the same as the next, it’s because people fail to recognize the good things that happen in their lives every day the sun rises.”- The Alchemist.

And at some point you may feel misguided and confused about you inner desires for your life. Sometimes you will scale back on the pursuit because it has left you hurt and jaded—there’s no glamour in faith.

“My heart is a traitor, “the boy said to the alchemist, when they had paused to rest the horses. “It doesn’t want me to go on.”

The Alchemist answered, “That makes sense. Naturally its afraid of that, in pursuing your dream, you might lose everything you’ve won.”

“Well then why should I listen to my heart?” the boy asked.

“Because you will never again be able to keep it quiet. Even if you pretend not to have heard what it tells you , it will always be there inside of you, repeating to you what you’re thinking about life and about the world.” replied the Alchemist.  –The Alchemist, by Paulo Coelho

Purposefully inspire yourself throughout your life journey towards your treasure. Most importantly feed your spirit… It’s the requirement of the heart.<< try to tattoo this statement in your mind. http___signatures.mylivesignature.com_54492_320_5C901DB21899B290D7B659227EE24F4F